Saturday, July 29, 2017

Extremely Extreme Huntress: Get Out of Bed and Get Some!

Extreme Huntress Kristi Puts the Hammer on a Coyote 
Backcountry Hunters and Anglers has organized a "get in shape for hunting with fellow hunters hike" up to the "M" on Mount Sentinel in Missoula, Montana, early Monday and Tuesday mornings ("Hunting season's just around the corner . . . so get out of bed and get some!"). You don't want to miss it, I am told, because Kristy Titus will be on the hike!

Not wanting to miss anything big, and not knowing who Kristy is, I looked her up.

Kristy is an "Extreme Huntress" who apparently wears a lot of make-up while traveling the world and sometimes paying guides to help her kill a variety of animals for profit, entertainment and amusement. She represents the wolf-hating Rocky Mountain Elk Foundation as part of "Team Elk," and hosts "NRA Women" while appearing on a variety of hunting shows (including "Pursue the Wild") to promote and defend our "hunting heritage," which nowadays seems to mean supporting an industry of high-tech gadgets as well as policies that diminish our wildlife and wild places while waving a "conservation" flag, quoting Aldo Leopold and pretending to be Theodore Roosevelt.

"Stand and fight with NRA!" she says. . . you know, the gun-industry's public relations firm and branch of the GOP that helps fund the American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC) -- which is leading the push to sell our public lands -- as well as backing politicians who deny climate change and other science, and want to gut the Clean Air Act, Clean Water Act, the Endangered Species Act, the Environmental Protection Agency and other laws, regulations and agencies that protect the wildlife and wild places we claim to cherish -- all so we can focus on the more important, bogus, fear-mongering claims of fictitious boogeymen (and boogeywomen) who are surely going to take all of our guns away . . . one of these days . . . you'll see! 

But hey, she extremely pursues extremely dangerous game in extremely rugged, extremely dangerous, extreme places while looking extremely good, just like all the famous macho-men hunting heroes who kill for profit, amusement and entertainment. That's pretty extremely cool, dude . . . right? 

In one of her "Out West with Kristy Titus" live-blog videos -- sponsored by RealTree, Swarovski Optik, RMEF Team Elk, Trophy-Taker, Cabela's and "Always Lethal" Under Armour -- she shares tips from the Titus family ("excellent sources of information for coyote and bobcat hunting") on killing predators. As a bonus, she puts "the hammer" on a coyote so we can all watch the animal die as many times as we want in regular and slow motion.

In another of her shows she shoots and wounds a bear from 450 yards. Then she shoots and wounds it some more from 300 yards. The bear retreats to its den where she eventually kills it. You can watch this extremely exciting, extremely daring, extreme "hunt" right from the comfort of your recliner while eating chips and drinking beer. (I recommend a RealTree camouflage chair and Busch special hunting-season beer in camouflage cans.)

Perhaps we can soon watch Kristy, Randy Newburg, Steven Rinella and other extremely rugged, extremely fearless and extremely amazing backcountry hunting entertainers share their extreme grizzly-killing tips while putting the extreme hammer, and the big extreme kibosh, on an extremely rugged, extremely deadly, extremely dangerous extreme Montana griz hunt! Stay tuned (and be sure to have extra chips and cammo beer on hand).

Commercial Message: In the meantime, be sure to head to Cabela's and get Kristy's "Pursue The Wild" elk call line by Rocky Mountain Hunting Calls -- The "Wild Frenzy Bugle," "Wild Fury Diaphragm" and "Ignite-Her-Wild" external reed cow calls, available now! (I hear rumors there's a new one coming out: "The Whining Crying Baby Calf Calling For Mommy Which Infuriates the Huge Bully Bull Who Will Come Running In Fast -- Whether He wants to or Not -- Diaphragm Elk Call Extreme!")

Hunting season's just around the corner: Get out of bed and get some!