The Logic of Denial

After spending some time trying to understand where skeptics of climate change are coming from, I think I am starting to see the light.

The arrogant scientists who think humans can influence climate remind me of all those scientists around the world claiming that too much fast foods and junk foods high in fat, sugar and calories are unhealthy and bad for you. I am guessing they are paid to come up with such conclusions. Fortunately, there are a few smart folks working on behalf of the Junk Food and Fast Food Industry Association proving just how wrong all those scientists are. They have assured me that junk food and fast food is healthy. I believe them. I know a guy who eats at McDonalds a lot and he is pretty skinny. I think these "health nut" scientists are involved in a plot, a hoax, to harm the American food service economy.

Similarly, there are scientists all over the world claiming cigarettes are bad for us. I have no doubt they are paid to come to such ridiculous conclusions. They are obviously part of a hoax out to destroy the American tobacco industry and hurt the poor, hard-working farmers who grow fine, healthy tobacco. Fortunately, there are a handful of good, smart folks working on behalf of the tobacco industry to show us how wrong most of the world’s scientists are. I trust them. After all, I knew a guy who smoked nearly two packs a day and lived to be 90.

Now the liberal elitists are out to control Americans and destroy the fossil fuel industry. They are wealthy, powerful and influential enough to have paid a majority of the world’s scientists to fabricate so-called peer-reviewed research and cooperate in a massive, world-wide conspiracy and hoax claiming that human emissions of C02 and other so-called “greenhouse” gasses are causing our planet to warm, melting glaciers and icecaps, changing ocean temperatures and currents and thereby altering regional and global climate. They have even managed to manufacture actual, observable changes in temperatures, weather and related impacts to land, water and wildlife which they pretend to have predicted. Fortunately, there are a handful of smart people working on behalf of the fossil fuel industry who have proved that the overwhelming majority of the world’s scientists are wrong. Fortunately, they have exposed the hoax. I trust them. After all, we had a couple cold days and big snowstorms this year and Senator James Inhofe was able to throw a snowball on the Senate floor in Washington DC in February.

What’s next? Is some liberal, elitist scientist going to try and prove to us that the world is round?